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This poem came as the result of the first ultra sound for Jake. The ultrasound left me with two feelings: First, I was
awestruck by the reality of this little living creature that was living inside Susan. Second, I was almost haunted by the anonymity of this developing child. For 20 minutes or so you watch this baby moving around inside your wife’s belly like a scene from the movie Alien. I didn’t feel this instant bond to my soon to be child. That really bothered me.
I think that mothers get this unique opportunity to interact with the child that no one else has. Fathers are left to wonder who this new person will be until well after the child is
born. So if this poem seems a little dark, you know where it’s coming from...
Afraid
From a vague image
call it a dream
grows part of me
part of us
Once only an idea
of a time yet to come
my Future draws toward the present
the dream becomes reality
Like watching tv
a home video of my Future revealed
Its shape
Its form
Its being
My Future has a face
the anonymous face of a new life
full of questions
void of answers
Full of questions
I am afraid
scared of the unknown
of what I am yet to be
In an imperceptible way
the Future takes shape
how will It transform me
will I be ready for It
I nervously await this moment
this inevitable coming
that only divinity can now stop
the melding of two
our souls joined into one Being
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