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THE PEANUT GALLERY
A Lighthearted look at ADDults and ADD
WRENCH..and her AMAZING TONGUE!
NOW...send us YOUR pics too :) Be Brave!
PHOTO
..COURTESY OF CHRISTINE FRAM/AKA WRENCH
ADDult IN A NUTSHELL
A lively synopsis of the doings on the ADDult list
for first part of March 1999
Religion may not be a good subject for list...there still seems to be a
wide ranging variety of climates, latitude is suspect...the vote on toilet
paper was a three-way tie between over, under, and what's a toilet paper
holder?...Mick Jagger seems to stir something deep in ADD women...If there
is a computer or mechanical problem, men will get technical, women will get
it fixed...nudity thread came to an all too early demise...tag all posts
containing: religion (R), male bashing (MB), personal hygiene below the
waist (OB), long posts with only one paragraph (LP), HTML (HTML),
complicated math problems (_), vulgarities (FU), naked Scots (ASS), general
ADD related subject matter (OT), ADD inattentive subject matter (O?), ADHD
subject matter (OTTTTT), blatant sex (T&A), Windows bashing (GPF), Mac
bashing (GEEK)...the report on the link between ADD and BDSM was
inconclusive, more research is being conducted...no two methods for jigsaw
puzzles are alike...Febreeze is a good product...Happy belated Pi Day...
getting film developed is like a box of chocolates...some manly men squat
when they pee...panty thread came on strong but fizzled...we lost a few
furry friends and enemies...hyperfocusing ran rampant...feelings got
hurt...a few went nomail...a few crawled out from under their rocks...if
there is a better mousetrap, an ADDult built it...fluffy matzoh balls are
better. We should all stop taking ourselves so seriously.
Written by Creative Genius, John L. :)
LAUGH AWHILE
Included at the request of WRENCH :)
as recently printed on our list.
How to annoy other people
(was this written just for us ADDers or WHAT!:) )
1.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper, 99 copies.
2.In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
(or when writing out a check for a ticket, write 'extortion'.)
3. Be sure to specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4.If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen
while talking to others.
5.Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all
weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8.Practice making fax and modem noises.
9.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc."
them to your boss.
10.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy."
12.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over
your ears.
13.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge
across the room.
14.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and
insist to others that you "like it that way."
16.Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking"
noise.
18.Honk and wave to strangers.
19.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their
complimentary mints by the cash register.
20.TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21.type only in lowercase.
22.dont use any punctuation either
23.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
streets.
24.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.R>
26.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of
your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and
repeat.
27.Ask people what gender they are.
28.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet.
29.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to
see if they slow down.
30.Sing along at the opera.
31.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their
answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
NETWORK
This page last updated March 20,1999